Remembering A-ma Pasay

We often fondly call her as A-ma Pasay because she lives in Pasay City. But we never called our Ang-kong, Ang-kong Pasay.

My grandmother is a plain housewife.

My grandmother is a faithful wife to Ang-kong. Ang-kong drinks tea as water everyday. I saw her faithfully checking and making sure that the thermos is always filled with tea. Oftentimes, she would ask us to go down the garden to gather the ilang-ilang flowers that have fallen off the tree for Ang-kong because Ang-kong loves the scent of such flower.

My grandmother is a faithful mother of 12 kids with 10 of them boys. She took care of them and served them well. Imagine how a mother can cope up in taking care of 10 boys and 2 girls. It is not even a basketball team but a baseball team.

My grandmother is a very good mother-in-law. My aunts have their own story to tell. She loved each of her daughter-in-laws uniquely. Imagine at one time, managing so many daughter-in-laws in one roof. And she still managed to maintain her poise and live until a good old age (jokingly).

My grandmother loves nature and animals. She always wanted to plant beautiful flowers and makes sure they are well maintained. In one of my surprise visit to her, during one afternoon inSan Juan, there she was trimming the plants to make sure it will bloom well. I remember she also loves animals. I don’t know if you guys can remember the big pig in Pasay; Browny, Blacky and the Diong-kwe (Black Chicken). In San Juan, she still has a pet dog.

She is a perfect example of a person who is able to give unconditional love. She is a person who manifested the five love languages to her family. The five are words of appreciation, time, touch, service and gifts.

1. She expresses her love through words of appreciation. You will often hear her telling us her grandchildren, ah-ee-ah (My beloved), Chin-gaw (you are excellent), chia-tiak-oh (wonderful), di-chin-kuai (you are good), ke-siok-chut-lat (Continue to exert effort). As many of you know, I am the weakest link in our family when it comes to studying and A-ma whenever she visit us, she will always encourage me – tiok tak ka gaw le (study well)… di-im-si-bwe-tak (you are not dumb).

2. She expresses her love through giving time to each one of us. She visits all of us often and checks to make sure that we are all ok. Very simple visit and yet very meaningful.

3. She expresses her love through touch. A-ma likes to be kissed and hug. This family is very Chinese in one sense, but kissing is the culture to give our elderly respect. I can remember that every time she would talk to me, she would hold my arm to show her concern and love.

4. She expresses her love through service. My grandmother loves to cook and every Sunday everybody goes to Pasay to visit Ang-kong and A-ma. You will be surprise that a big table that can seat 16 can go at least three to four batches per meal and everyone will have their fill. You will not notice that there is lack of food on the table. And she cooks by herself alone. We will miss her lumpia, kiampung, torta, meatball and lo-bah.

5. She expresses her love through giving of gifts. I can still remember when we were very young, every time she goes abroad, everybody is excited and wondering what toy we would receive from her besides Sugus candy. Everyone will receive pasalubong no matter how big or small. Sa dami namin, I really wonder how can she manage to bring tons of toys and things for everyone. She was really a super grandma and tried her best to treat each one of us fairly. That is besides the ang-pao we receive from her every Christmas and Chinese New Year. Until last year I am receiving ang-pao from her. For years I have been telling her that I am too old to receive ang-pao but she insisted that as long as I am single, I will receive ang-pao from her. Maybe this is also one of the reasons I am still single.

Her love is unconditional and flows freely for everyone. In a big family like ours, she still managed to give love to all.

My grandmother was like an angel sent to me by God. Coming from a not well to do family has limitations. I do not like to ask extra money from my family besides my allowance. At times, when I am in need, I would ask God, God I really need 500 pesos to pay some school fees. And the next morning, my grandmother will visit us, she will go to my room and say, Oni ah (she calls me this name), di-lai (come here). She will give me money and she will tell me not to tell my mom. When I open it, it was the 500 pesos I requested from God. This happened several times that God used her to fill up my need. I did not tell anyone my need but God and it was so spontaneous that when I asked God, my grandmother pops up the next morning. Very surprising isn’t it? It seems there is a deep connection between the two of us.

With this kind of grandma who loved everyone so much, who cannot love her in return? In the last ten years, I did not visit her much on Sundays, because I wanted to unload her for cooking for another person, though it seems to be foolish of me thinking that way.

Though I did not visit, I spend many times, calling A-ma over the phone at least once a month just to check if she is ok and doing well. There was a time, when she broke her arm and was really complaining about it. This was the start; I would often visit her in the afternoons on a regular day just to talk to her and pray for her. A-ma, gwa ka ni kito para di ka kin ho (I would like to pray for you so that you will get well fast). Di-be-boh? (Is it ok for you?). She would say, lai-ki-to (let us pray). She would be very excited about it. But if you would ask her, di-ai-sin-ya-so-bo? (Would you like to believe in Jesus?) Bo-beh (I don’t want to). And she would just give me a big smile. So oftentimes, we would do that, we pray together but does not want to believe in Jesus.

Until last November, when I was in Australia and she was confined in the hospital, I was told that she was looking for me everyday. They told her I was abroad but the next day she would ask again the same question looking for me. Then, my mom asked, why are you looking for Oni? Then my mom discovered that she wanted me to pray for her. My mother called the pastor and there she accepted Jesus and was baptized.

I praise God, A-ma has sought God. During my last visit early this year, she was crying and in pain. She was telling me, Oni ah, di-kang-ya-so-kong-kwa-kin-lai-lo, lai-kap-gua lo. Gua-ya-kang- kho-lo (oni, tell Jesus to come quickly, and fetch me because I am really in pain). Then, I was affirmed that when she accepted Jesus as her Savior, it was no joke. She was crying and I started to sing for her. Siong-the-le-chiao-ko-di (God will take care of you). It was only that time she had a good sleep.

The day before A-ma died, I was browsing through her picture which I took December 2006. It was her birthday celebration in Quick Snack. And I was surprised the following morning I received a call that she has breathe her last.

A-ma live a full life with full of love. I pray and hope that the legacy she has left behind will teach the next generation through her modeling to love one another unconditionally.

We love you A-ma.

Christmas This July

I woke up early this morning, chilling and it seems my head is gonna explode.  I took a temperature and it was burning 38.5.  I tried to eat medicine and relax the whole day.  There might be several causes, maybe my eyesight has gone haywire since I spend too much time with this new toy - Macbook.  I hope it is not serious, suspicion lang naman.  I have 20/20 vision for the last 37 years.

As I spend the day trying to see what movies on television, I took notice on Hallmark Channel from morning till evening, they were showing all Christmas movies.  At first, I thought it was only one movie but as time flies, one movie after the other sure is a Christmas loaded day for Hallmark Channel.  It's Christmas this July, and come to think of it, Christmas is really all about Jesus story and not those gifts, and santa clause or snow etc.  It is good that people are reminded about Christ throughout the year and not only on December.

I like the touching story - A Christmas Visitor.  The best among the good movies I watch today.

Grandma Breathe Her Last @ 94

After almost a year of struggle with life, my grandma breathe her last this morning.  I was even going through her photos last night with my mom when I was reclassifying my photo album with my mac's iphoto.  We were sharing about her last birthday in 2006 where she can still walk freely.  She was still snoring according to my aunt who was taking care of her, when suddenly she started to have some bubbles from her mouth.  She was being asked to wake up but she grew weaker and rest with the Lord.

The incident was so unexpected.  She was still talking this morning.  I was in John Maxwell's Million Leaders mandate when I heard the news.  I wanted to cry for I will miss my grandma but it seems awkward to cry in the hall filled with people listening to the speakers.  Anyway, I was able to take deep breathes to swallow up my grieve.  Until now, though there were tears wanting to flow out of my eyes, but it kept of stopping.  Maybe, it has not dawn on me yet, as I have tried to curb my feelings this morning.  Or maybe, its just that I know my grandma is in heaven now, since she accepted Jesus to be her personal Lord and Savior last year.

I was asked to give a eulogy this Monday, still wandering what to say as too many good memories I had with my grandma.  I also do not know, if I can give a good eulogy, since I might be filled with too much compassion and grief.

 Well, there is still some time to think about it carefully.  I will write an eulogy of my grandma in a couple of days through the net but wonder if I can deliver it publicly.

Loosing the True Meaning of "Pastor"

During one of the sessions in John Maxwell Million Leaders Mandate Volume 2 Session 2 this paragraph caught my attention well.  "Often a pastor will mistake the love that people show him on Sunday.  They shake his hand and tell him what a wonderful sermon he preached that day.  However, when times are tough and commitment is necessary to follow his vision, people may hesitate.  Why?  They love him as a friend and admire him as a person, but they don't respect him as a leader.  They don't believe he can take them to the fulfillment of that vision.  Consequently, they refuse to commit themselves."

It is very important for pastor as church leader to really lead his congregation towards spiritual maturity.  The credibility of the pastor should be preserve and work on by the pastor himself in order to be worthy to be called as "pastor."

 The word "pastor" has lost its meaning among churches since it has becomes a position rather than the exercise of true leadership in bringing the flock closer to God.  I think, as a pastor, it is very important for me to re-educate my congregation in using this word.  They can only call me pastor if they really think and will commit to follow my instructions before they can call me "pastor".  Unless I earn their respect to be their real pastor, then they should not call me pastor for I would not deserve such call.

Remembering Ms. Gregoria G. Beltran

Today is the second death anniversary of Hope Christian High School's principal Ms. Gregoria Go Beltran.  She served the school for 44 long years starting as an English teacher, to academic supervisor and later 27 years as principal.


Ms. Beltran was already principal when I entered nursery until I graduated from high school.  I have a total of 13 years of experience and opportunity learning from her as our beloved principal.  Little known to many, when I graduated from the school, she became my ninang because of the closeness we developed.  Though our relationship turned sour some years later which I regretted.


There were so many things that was said during the memorial service but I believe there are still more meaningful things that should have said since the new generation of students does not know her.  Maybe the fourth year students, but I don't think they can remember her since they were still in nursery.


Ms. Beltran can be describe as the Champion of the Gospel through exemplary Christian education.  She was a dedicated principal who comes to school as 6am and leave the school the earliest at 6pm.  She is in school Mondays to Sundays since she also teaches Sunday school on Sundays especially to English only students.


It was in her term, that the school has reached its peak of 3,800 students.  And the school got accreditation.  She was very cautious with evangelism that she makes sure that series of evangelistic meetings were conducted both during the English and Chinese chapels once a year.  She herself teaches the Bible every week.


Ms. Beltran was a woman of prayer.  The most important legacy I believe she have left behind to us and her faculty was prayer.  In my two weeks stay in Hope Christian last year, I started to lead different prayer meetings with the school personnel.  The only comment I was hearing from the senior personnel of the school was that they have not been praying for the school like what I initiated since Ms. Beltran retired from service.  Everyone was telling me that what I did helped them remembered Ms. Beltran because she has caused them to pray regularly for the school as a habit.  According to some of them, through the prayer time we did, their passion and dedication for the school has been awakened.


During my younger years, I often see Ms. Beltran entering the prayer room beside her office to kneel down and pray.  Her example has modeled our minds to seek God as a top priority.  She was also indeed a champion of prayer.


Ms. Beltran is a firm person.  You cannot just talk her out of things.  Her leadership skills has influenced especially the brightest among the school since she spends time with them in the student council, and other activities of the school.  She makes sure that every group of students who will go out to represent the school would have a courtesy call in her office so that she can pray for the delegates.


Ms. Beltran is also an advocate of UECP, though she works silently on this area.  I can still remember that she would personally talk to graduating students on the last quarter of the school year to influence the whole batch to be baptized in UECP.  If you disagree with this idea, you will see her in her office, not to interrogate the students but to share to them the gospel.  She makes sure that every single student who graduates in Hope Christian High School is clear with their relationship with Jesus Christ.  If you will look at the roster of baptized members of UECP, you will really notice that every March during her term, the whole graduating batch gets baptized.


Another important legacy of Ms. Beltran was her love for missions.  She does not only spearhead the white gift drive of the school, but she also organizes short-term mission trip for every graduating batch of Hope Christian High School.  She would personally go with the students to such mission trip.  These trip were to remote areas of the country.  It was during our batch's turn for such mission trip that we got very closed and she recognized me to be her inaanak.


Ms. Beltran indeed gave her life for Hope Christian High School.  Her dedication and service especially to our LORD is worth emulating.  She is a woman, who is a Champion of the Gospel, Champion of Prayer, and a Champion of Dedicated Service.  Her contribution makes sure that each student who passes through her administration gets saved.


Other things that I remembered about her was she was a humble and a lifelong learner.  I can still remember she was enrolling at SpeechPower to further improve herself though she is already an eloquent speaker.  She is also a principal who is game, especially during faculty's Christmas party where she herself will dress-up and act and be cool in front of the faculty.  During raffles, she will always pray that those who are really in need would get the big prizes.  She was a very organized person.


Let's not forget her popular phrases every chapel period.  "When wealth is lost, nothing is lost; when health is lost, something is lost; but when character is lost, everything is lost."  Another of her favorite Scripture as her gift to graduating batch, Proverbs 3: 4-5, "Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not unto thy own understanding, in all your ways, acknowledge Him, and He will make your paths straight."


Let's not forget her popular songs, "To God Be The Glory," Trust and Obey," There a Welcome Here," Bond of Love," "Should I Go Empty-handed," "My Tribute," and "Why Have You Chosen Me.


In this, I salute Ms. Gregoria Go Beltran.  Using her very popular phrase, "To God Be All The Glory."

Prayer is Two Way Communication

When we discussed about prayer, it seems most people teaches prayer as you are communicating to God, and in turn as you read the Bible, God communicates with you.  I think this is the very basic form of communication with God when in comes to Christianity.

There is nothing wrong with such teaching, but as we grow older and more mature in our spiritual walk with the LORD, we discover that prayer is actually a two way communication.  As we talk and share to God our worship and concerns, the Holy Spirit who is in us in turn speaks to our heart, if we are able to really quiet ourselves before Him.

Prayer is actually listening rather than speaking.  It is very important for us Christians to learn how to discern and listen to the Holy Spirit who speaks directly to us.  There is always a thin line when we talk about this matter.  The question that pops to our mind, how will I know if what I am thinking of is what God wants rather than my own personal want?  The right question should be, are we really filling our minds with the Word of God or not?  In order to be able to discern the will of God, first and foremost is to have a right relationship with Him.

It is really quieting before the Lord.  This is another wrong concept of quiet time.  Most of the time quiet time is doing prayer and reading the Bible.  Though this is right in one sense, but the most important which we often neglect was actually, practically "quiet or being still or ssshhh" before the LORD in order to listen.  Sadly most of the time we are so much in a hurry in our quiet time that we missed out God speaking to us.

Prayer is actually being able to say what God wants rather than just praying about things we want.

It's All About Prayer

Yesterday I had a meeting with the Prayer and Praise Leaders of the Cell Group Ministry.  As we discussed so many things in prayer, I was encouraged myself and was able to learn a lot from our discussion.

One of our emphasis was the importance of prayer in the Cell Group Ministry.  In has been noticeable that Bible Study has always been the main focus of all cell groups.  We spend so much time in Bible Study every time we meet.  There is nothing wrong with Bible Study because this is of importance but a more important area was actually prayer which we all often neglect. Prayer is the real connection of man with God.

I remembered the story of Moses and Joshua, while Joshua was busy fighting the Amalekites actually Moses together with two other companions were busy praying up the mountain.  Whenever Moses hands dropped, the Israelites was loosing the battle, and while it was up the Israelites were winning the battle.

The same is true with our life and especially our ministry.  The Cell Group Ministry was created to be a prayer ministry in order to build up the church.  It was of utmost important that all groups should give emphasis in praying for the church; for UECP.  Prayer and Praise time should never be neglected by the group because its really all about prayer that we become victorious in our ministry.

 Without prayer we will never experience the needed spirituality that brings us closer to God.

Formating My Desktop vs Activating My New Toy

I started formatting my computer in the office yesterday and still not done in formatting and reinstalling softwares.  As compared to activating my new Macbook - it was just pushing a few buttons and I am done.


Still have not decided to fully shift to Mac but it seems more practical and you need not keep tons of CD for your software requirements.  Still experimenting and still needed to buy some accessories though.  But until now, my desktop has not finished classifying my cliparts and some softwares are no longer compatible after reinstalling.  I am really having a difficult time how to make my windows fully operational.  It seems my desktop is jealous with my new Mac and its giving me a hard time.


Praise God for this new Mac, I pray that I would be able to maximize its usage of this computer for His glory.

Challenge of Keeping Your Old Folks Healthy

It has been a very busy week overseeing both of my parents who has illness.  Just came from the doctor with my Dad.  He has been diagnose with two almost clogged veins in his heart.  Angiopalsty is the answer.  Hope its only angioplasty, but according to the doctor if the main artery is affected, then by pass is needed.  Further check-up is needed, maybe by the end of the month.  It was advise that we do it asap, since my dad's liver and kidneys are doing well.  Surprisingly, my dad who has been a drunkard most of his life has a good and healthy liver.  He has stopped drinking for more than 10 years now.  Of course, my dad, worries where to get the money and insisted not taking any more check-ups.


My mom on the other hand has been experiencing stomach pains for the past three weeks.  Only yesterday that finally went for a check-up and it was inflamed intestine.  I need to bring her again for further check-up to be sure after her medication.  I was insisting that she undergo endoscopy and colonoscopy.  But of course, she is also hesitant.


Both parents are indignant not to go for further testing.  It is frustrating to convince both old folks to listen to you for goodness sake.  After going through my personal issue with health last year, it has been difficult for me to see people who are sick, since it is bringing me back to depression stage.  And yet they cannot understand, I do not want to add my problems to theirs so better just blog it, just to release tension on my part.


Now I am busy trying to schedule their further check-ups.  I just pray and hope for my God's mercy that all is fine with both of them.  Now, people wonder why am I still single?

Preached with Power

I praise God for answering all my prayers for the past few days.  He guided me in my decisions, formed the Truth within me, and using me as His mouthpiece when I delivered my message in English and Chinese this morning at St. Stephen's Parish.  It was my first time to preach in this church.  People were able to affirmed they learned a lot especially from those heavy theological stuff and was clearly understood especially those from the Chinese congregation.  All for the glory of God.


It was my first time to attend such kind of worship - very very traditional.  It was a blessing to worship in such a way that is guided and very much focused on the Lord.  As I was worshipping, I have a thought for our 80th Annivesary in UECP.  The four weeks could be a visit on the different worships of the different generations in our church.  Worship in the time when our forefathers in China, the past traditional worship, the present type of worship and something futuristic kind of worship.  This might be a good sequence as we visit our past and chart once again our future.

The Power of Prayer

As I was cramming how to present my message for Sunday, the passage in Romans was really killing me.  I was a little bit exhausted so I started to kneel down and prayed to God to grant me .001% of His preaching capability in order to preach well for His people as well as borrow the gift of tongue so that I can speak Chinese well.


I have been praying before as a prepare my message and it has been my usual practice that a week before I preach in a certain church that I would spend time praying for the congregation that they may rest well the night before and that God would fill them with a heart of worship on Sunday.


It seems I really need a lot of prayers, so I started texting people around maybe more than 50 to 60 prayer partners to pray for me.  Afterwards, God gave me a good rest the whole night.


Today, as I review the English version of my message, I don't know what happened but I started rewriting it at it really turned out better as each of the doctrine on the Trinity, Justification and Sanctification starts to reach better explanation.


Before the day ends, Elder Leonida passed by the office and insisted that I preached to her the Chinese version before I go.  I praise God for sending wisdom and people to assist me in my sermon preparation.  My Chinese version after delivering it to Elder Leonida has been fine tuned, making it more understandable as well as correcting some errors in my pronunciation.


Praise God!  Prayer really Works!

Not Transferable

After writing my English version of my message, I thought the Chinese would be easy since I have done this before.  So, I asked Pastor Catherine to be my typist for the Chinese character in the computer so that it will be fast.

But to my surprised, after going through it for two pages, I was so exhausted that I forgot the message was full of doctrinal terminologies that are so difficult to translate and worse difficult to say.  I wonder if people will understand me when I would say those words in Chinese?  I am devastated and really wonder how to go about it.

I asked Pastor Cathy, if she just translate on her own which I beleive would be faster since she is more senior in terms of of these stuff.  I would just adjust her translated version to my own preference later on.

Haaay sobrang frustrating... non transferable yun words…