Not Big Enough

I was able to share with some of my mentees about my recent struggles in life.  Actually, we all agree that I have achieved so much in my life that recent new things do not really challenge me anymore.  It seems my life lacks something that has caused my loss in my direction in life.

Then, one of them told me that my recent plans are not big enough for a challenge.  I do develop new ministries but they are more just to help improve our present ministry but does not challenge me because I am much aware what needs to be done.  There seems to be less reliance on God in doing these stuffs.  Though I do rely on God much in everything I do but it seems he is right, because God has been blessing my ministries so much that I need to move to another level of glorifying God as I plan out for new ministry.  I need to do something bigger and more important in expanding the kingdom of God.

As we were discussing this, it suddenly dawned on me, some years back, we have a visiting pastor from another country who spoke in our revival meeting.  All of a sudden, he pulled me by the side and told me strange things.  We have been introduced but we were really not well acquainted.  He said to me, listen carefully, I have an important message for you. God has revealed to me some things God wanted you to do.  After listening intently, we prayed together and as we pray he told me a word came to him and that was "transformation." Then, we ended our conversation.  Actually, what we discussed has been impressed in my by God some years ago, it seems it was a confirmation coming from God through this pastor.  But I was so afraid to do it, because that would be entering a new playing field where I am not familiar with, which I felt I was not really ready.  It demands complete reliance on God.

It seems this is the new thing God wanted me to do... it will definitely rip all of my comfort zones and a real big challenge in my life.  Should I go for it now, since God has spoken and this loss of direction stage in my life seems to be pointing to such direction?  My faith in God has been very big, but this new challenge demands ten times the faith I have today.  It is really a big leap of faith.

Dear Lord, if you really wanted me to do such ministry, please give me the strength and courage to put my trust in you and fulfill the plan you have sketched for me, even before the world began.  In Jesus name... Amen.